Sunday, November 2, 2008

Shouldn't everything stop?

I am so full of grief right now for the Attebery family that I find it hard to breath in and out and all the other things that I SO take for granted. I feel that I can't get a good enough look at my family, I just want to watch them longer. I'm so saddened for baby Bryce. Just a day ago he was nursing from his mommy and now is trying to learn to live without her embrace. I am so heartbroken for Scott. He was absolutely smitten with Jill. I will never forget his excitement after he met her. He would say, "I'm going to find my Jill Jarvis one day" and then as God would have it, he got THE Jill Jarvis. They found comfort in God through miscarriages and then finally were blessed with baby Bryce and now Jill isn't here to enjoy his first words, toddler years, school years.... I live with such fear of tragedy striking my family. This is definitely a sign of weak faith because God does not give me a spirit of fear. I should not cling to the things/people of this world as if they're all I have. It is so hard because He gives us such love for the blessings He places in our lives that sometimes it's so easy to get too attached and to never want to let go. Sometimes I wonder how Heaven could compare to embracing my family. My human mind is so simple and cannot wrap itself around the splendor of Heaven and His glory! I pray that God can give me a stronger faith and a better understanding of His goodness. Oh, how I rejoice in Him as my Savior. I rejoice in the fact that He opened my eyes, when I was, and still am, SO unworthy. Thank you so much Father for giving me something so much greater to look forward to than even the greatest moments here on earth. I can only imagine what kind of JOY I will have when I'm able to do nothing but praise You.
Aaron has posted on his blog a letter Scott wrote after a young lady in their church passed away a couple of years ago. It's as though Scott's words then are ministering to his pain now. Please continue to pray for this daddy and baby boy.

7 comments:

the Percifuls said...

I will be praying for the family. What a heartbreaking story!

Anita said...

Jenny, why did you have to go and make me cry again!!! Very sweet words, and yes, he was so smitten with her!

Autumn said...

This is just so heartbreaking. I'm keeping their family in my prayers. Sophia and Jeff will be getting even more hugs and kisses after reading about this loss.

Phoebe said...

Such a perfect song for such a sad time. Thanks for sharing your heart.

made2mama said...

My heart just breaks for Scott and Bryce and what they must be going through. Jill has shown God's love to so many people. How I pray for a heart like this.

designHER Momma said...

I'm totally keeping their family in my prayers.

...and you sound like a great friend.

Anonymous said...

I am in shock. I don't even know what to say. I called Megan and told her, and we're both wondering if you have Scott's address so we can send cards. We're both heartbroken.